Monday, December 15, 2008

My new JM Tag

I got my new JM tag done tonight. I think it turned out adorable!

He's a Big Boy Now ...

It is official ... my little guy is now a big boy! After we got home from Disney World I began potty training Mister Gabs. He is now in big boy pants and hates pull ups! Every now and then he may still have a "poopie" accident but other then that he is doing awesome!

He told me that he is a big boy now and not a baby. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Funny Beach Story ...

I just had to share this cute story of when we are at the beach in Florida. Rick (My Step dad) took Gabs and Nic down to the water and as they were enjoying the view a tidal wave came in! It was high enough to completely soak Gabs! The funny part was that Nic was wearing flip flops and the waves took them right off his feet!!!!

I thought for sure we had lost his fave pair of Tony Hawk Flip Flops! But sure enough the waves brought them back and he snagged them up! I happened to snap a pic right as it happened! You can see my step dad jerking Gabs up so the wave wouldn't carry him away and Nic's shoes being carried off!

Some Florida Pics ...

Here are some pics from Florida. More to come soon!

Catching Up ...

As you can see my trip post was way over due! A lot has been going on since we got back. When we got back I was having some serious sleep issues. I was exhausted and wanting to sleep all the time. I would go to bed with Gabs at 8 pm and wake up at 8am and still be super tired. I think it was due to all the stress I had been under along with jet lag and all the activity of our trip. I am well now but have been taking care of my Dad and the boys. So my next few blogs are also catch up blogs as well!!!

Our Trip

What a wonderful vacation. We were so sad to see it end!!! The boys had so much fun in Florida as did us older kids (big grin).

Gavie saw HIS Mickey and Minnie! He is so in love with Minnie. He said she is his new girlfriend. Although he would have little to do with any of the other characters. He would say hi as long as you held him but no hugging or kissing was going to happen lol.

We also got to see the Space Shuttle Endeavour take off from our condo. What a neat and wonderful experience! Gavie was so amazed by the light in the sky! It is not everyday you get to see something like that so it was really nice to be a part of history.

The people at Give Kids the World were beyond AMAZING. Words cannot describe their generosity. We were treated like royalty. Honestly once you go there you will NEVER want to leave. And the families. We will keep all of the special families in our hearts and prayers. It was so nice to see a place where you DON'T see a child's disability but their smile. Gav and Nic were showered with gifts everyday we were there. Also everyday was ice cream day! The ice cream shop was so adorable!

Sea World was so much fun. The boys got to touch an actual stingray! Remarkably they are so soft and not slimy! The coolest thing was the Sharks! All of the different kinds of Sharks swimming above our heads was awesome. The boys really liked this and were amazed by these unique fish. Gavie managed to snag a stuffed Big Bird from here as well.

DisneyWorld was awesome. As I mentioned before Gabs loves Mickey and Minnie! As for the rides Gabs wanted nothing to do with them. He did love to sit in the stroller though and look around. And he loved Mickey's House. Of course the ultimate was meeting Mickey and Minnie. He wanted to bring them home with us!!! What was so wonderful was that they saw that Gabs was a Make A Wish child and gave him more time with Mickey then usual per child. I almost cried at the way they made over him. Mickey and Minnie were hugging and kissing him. There was only one other family in the room with us and I even saw that Mom close to tears as she watched them interact with Gabs.

All in all it was more then we could ever ask for. We miss being there every day since we have been home. Florida is a wonderful place to visit and I know we will defiantly be returning!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Watch out Mickey!

The Louthain / Coria's are going to Disney World! We will be leaving November 13th and returning November 19th. The boys are overjoyed. We will be going to Disney World (all the parks) ... Sea World ... and Hollywood Studios. We will also be staying at this wonderful place called Give Kids the World. It is a resort for families of Special Needs children. All of this was made possible from the WONDERFUL people at the Make A Wish Foundation. The ladies at the Indiana Chapter here have been nothing but wonderful to us. They are the sweetest bunch of Gals! Gav and Nic adore them. So now the countdown begins!!! Two months and four days until we are in Florida!!!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Quick Vent

UGH!!!!! I just messaged Ronnie (Nic's bio father) to see if he ordered Nic's shirts for school. He was supposed to order them Wed. morning. His reply is no I have had to work the last 2 days 13 hours.Um ok that is nice but you wasn't working Wed. 13 hours!!!!! SO I hope Nic gets his school shirts on time now. I swear he needs to flippin grow up and learn responsibility. All he is is a Sunday Father. He sees Nic a couple hours on Sunday and that is it. No call or txt during the week. Heaven forbid if Nic cuts into his own personal life!!!!! OK I am done venting now!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Gav is going to ... MAKE A WISH!

We just got the news today that Gavie is eligible for Make a Wish! So now we are waiting on the next process of being paired up with volunteers from the program. We are so excited!
Gav has narrowed it down to 3 wishes LOL ...
1. DisneyWorld
2. Disney Cruise
3. Meet the WWE RAW stars

New Look and a whole lot going on!

Wow I have been so busy that I have yet to post on my family blog! So much is going on these days so let me break it down!

First off I am now on the Creative Team for both Tanyia's Pretty Pixels and Dreamscape Designs. I am also a guest CT for Duchess Designs for the month of August. It is a lot of hard work but I am loving it! I am trying to catch up though because life has been hectic as well!

School is about to start up again and I will be continuing my studies to earn my diploma. That is right I sadly did not Graduate. It is not because I am not smart enough. I just was extremely shy and High School was not my wonder years if you know what I mean. However I am excited to be able to continue my studies and earn my diploma! I want my boys to be proud of their Mom!

Now on to Nic ... Tonight is Orientation for his School. It will be nice to see everyone again. I can't wait to hear about Vacations and all. Ronnie and Melissa will be attending with us. Yes you saw right. For the last 2 months Nic has been visiting with him (with me by his side of course!). It is going ok although Ronnie has been sneaky a couple times in trying to get Nic by himself. Um sorry it just is sooooooooooooooo not gonna happen!!! Melissa seems like a nice lady though and I happen to get along with her. Which I am sure is great for Nic.
I took him to the Dentist yesterday (yes I finally managed to get him back there after the root canal!) and he has cavities yet again! UGH UGH UGH!!!!! Two of them to be exact. I swear I tell him to brush. Boys gotta love em right. I also need to call and make an appt. for this Orthodontist, so he can get braces. He on the other hand is so not having it. What is a Mother to do huh? I hate fighting with him, but this so needs to be done!
Other then that he is doing well and I think secretly he is ready for school to start. He has missed his friends.

As for Gavie well he has grown like a weed in the last month and OMG the vocab on this little pint size man is incredible! We are still working on learning the basic stuff though. To me he seems to be struggling, but I am used to Nic who was not sick and picked all the basics up just like that. I am working with him everyday though. Also I am throwing learning into everyday things as well. Maybe this will work ... who knows!
Gavie also went to the Dentist yesterday and NO CAVITIES! They said his teeth looked good but he had a slight overbite. Maybe from the binky??? However when he turns 6 and starts getting big teeth they will have to look at them more carefully due to the Chemo he received. I guess even if you don't really have teeth yet it can still effect the ones forming as an infant. (Notice there is always a HOWEVER with Gavie)
He also saw the Eye Doc again and is defiantly going to need glasses big time. He says it looks like both of Gav's eyes are crossing. One more then the other though. Also his farsightedness has gotten worse. Poor guy can he just get a break! So we are going to Riley this week to pick out some cool frames for him. Hopefully he will keep them on!!!
And last but most certainly not least! I signed Gav up for his Make a Wish!!! We are waiting now for Dr P to sign the acceptance papers. So more on that to come ....

Other then that everything else is going ok. I am still single .. go figure huh. Sometimes I want someone then there are times I am like um nah!!! So we shall see what the future holds ... Until next time ....

Saturday, June 14, 2008

What a Great Day

Today we went to the zoo and had a blast! It was a Riley event held by students at IU. We had a great lunch and then got to see our own private showing in the Dolphin Pavilion. And got to speak with one of the Dolphin Trainers. It was really neat and the boys loved it. The we hung out all day with Eric and Andrew (2 IU students) and had an awesome time taking the boys around the zoo. The coolest part of all was we got to actually pet Sharks!!! It was really neat!

Gavie has a new friend. Her name is Michelle and she is also a student at IU. Her and her Mom were there and she fell in love with Gavin. Her Mom was so touched by Gavie that she wanted to exchange email addys so she could keep up with his progress.

One more note that makes it all perfect is that Eric himself was a Riley patient 3 years ago. He had a blood disorder and had a bone marrow transplant. He is now studying Biology and Pre Med!

After the boys go to bed I will upload pics and add them on here. They are to busy to do it now! Time for wind down!!!!

I hope everyone else had a wonderful day.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My first Double LO!

I am so excited!!! I have mastered my first Double LO!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Great News!

Due to the floods and extremely bad weather the Relay was canceled until Aug 1 and 2!!! So Gavie still gets to do his lap!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

No Relay for us ...

Sadly we didn't get to go to the Relay yesterday. Due to the rain and all of the flooding our County was under Emergency. We could only leave our houses if it was an emergency. I am about to give up. This past month has been just horrible!!!! I am so ready to give this bad luck to someone else!!!

The lady has been nice though and said they will mail Lori (she lives in the same County) and Gavie their T-Shirts. At least next year we will know at the beginning so we can start raising money then.

As soon as Gavie gets his shirt in the mail I will put it on him and snap some pics!

I was really upset that we didn't get to go but last night as I snuggled in bed with Gavie I realized that he didn't have to walk a special lap to be recognized. He is a SURVIVOR! At the age of 2 he has kicked Cancer's butt. To me he is an icon and my little Hero. I thank God everyday for him.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

New LO's

Here are a few new LO's I have made.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

My first LO!

I finally made my first LO without any scrapbook site! I am so excited! I think it came out pretty cute.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I scream you scream for CACREAM?!

Summer is almost here!!! So you know what that means! ICE CREAM!!! Or as Gavie calls it CACREAM! I swear every time he says that word I have to giggle!!! It just does not sound right! But none the less it is way to cute! Every night after dinner he asks for some CACREAM. This pic was taken the day before we left California. We had stopped for dinner and he had to have some CACREAM. I just love the look on his face. He was so happy.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I must of been a great Mommy this year!

I never expect anything for Mother's Day although handmade gifts are ALWAYS welcomed :o) .... Well this year with their Poppy's (my Dad) help they got me a new 500GB External Hard drive for my laptop. I feel so lucky to have such WONDERFUL lil men! They can be a handful at times and I want to pull my hair out! But I would never trade them for anything!

These are my guys! I am truly blessed!!!

Kaylie Gunn 1/16/06 -5/13/08

Sadly we have lost yet another of Gavie's Cancer Buddies. Kaylie gained her Angel Wings this morning around 9:30am.

When is this madness going to end!!!! Kaylie is just a month older then Gavie so this hits us hard. She was way to young to have to leave so soon! Our thoughts and prayers go out to her Mommy who has been so strong throughout her journey.

RIP Precious Angel.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

A Pair of Shoes ...

A Pair of Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has a child with cancer.

~ author unknown

I received this poem from a dear friend of mine named Allie. Her little boy Jeremy is battling a brain tumor. This is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read. I thank her for sharing it with me.

Monday, April 28, 2008

RIP Homer ... We will ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!!

I am devastated beyond words right now. I got a bulletin on MySpace from Daniel (AKA Homer) Daddy that Daniel had passed away throgh the night. Daniel was born with Cerebral Palsey and suffered Mental Retardation due to Doctors Negligence. I became great friends with Homie's family during Gavie's fight and I love Homer like he was one of my own. So this is like losing my own child. Please keep Homie's family in your thoughts and prayers as they go through this unthinkable pain. The only comfort I have is knowing he is no longer in pain and can run and jump amongst the clouds in Heaven.

RIP Homie ...

From Daniel's Family ...

Heaven is Homer's new home

Daniel passed away this morning. We went to give him his meds and food and he was already gone. He had passed away peacefully throughout the night. We miss him so much already, more than I could ever express. He was our angel here on earth. He is now healed and fully alive in heaven.

We love you all and thank you for your prayers in advance.

Homer's Daddy

New Look ...

I have decided to change the look yet again of our blog. I am really happy with the way it turned out. I think I need to add some more things to the side but other then that I think it turned out pretty darn cute LOL.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Almost there!

Wow I cannot believe that I am over half the way done with my $100.00 goal for Relay for Life! Thanks to Marla and Kim! Also a family friend Donna is donating $20.00! I am so excited! We cannot wait until June 7th!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Our SillyVille Scrap Blog!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Oh what a day!

Yesterday Gavie had his MRI and oh what a day we had!

Gavie did wonderful for the MRI and he let them put his IV in with not even a tear! He fought the sleepy meds a little bit though. They got the MRI done but he woke up right as they were finishing which with the amount of sleepy meds he shouldn't of. Kathy (his MRI Nurse) says she thinks he has had MRIs so much that his body has become immune to the children's sleepy meds. So next time he will have to go under general anesthetic.

As he woke up the real fun began. He was not a happy lil man at all! He wanted to walk and did not understand that he couldn't so he cried and became mean. He tried to pull his IV out so Kathy went ahead and took it out so he wouldn't hurt himself. Then we went upstairs and since he does not have a central line anymore he had to go get blood drawn. He actually sat there and let her do it. I was sure there would be kicking and screaming involved. Then we went and saw the Doctor. They said he looked wonderful and was so impressed with the way his arm looked and the function of it. The results were not available like they usually are something to do with the person who reads them was going to be busy for like an hour or so. So the Doctor told us they would call today with the results.

Home we went. Gavie did well in the car and fell asleep. As soon as we got home though he was the exorcist baby!!!!! He screamed and cried all night until dinner. He finally settled down and ate something. (the first time all day) Finally after dinner the anesthetic seemed to have worn off. Around 8:30 Gavie and I were laying in bed and he got an upset tummy and threw up all over himself and me and my bed! It was a mess! I had to get him and I in the shower and then clean up the bed. FINALLY after all that was done he laid down and went asleep.

He slept all night and woke up this morning his happy self wanting his Ucky Charms! So now we just need to wait until they call from the office and get the results. Which is nerve wrecking!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Relay for Life ... Team Gavin Jon

In June we will be participating in our very first Relay for Life!!! I am soooooooooo excited because Gavie will be taking the SURVIVOR lap. This means so much to our family.

For any of our friends who live in Indiana and want to join our team let us know! Click on Gavie's pic below and it will take you to our RFL Page. If you wish you can donate to our team also in honor of Gavie!

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Gavin Jon ... Mommy and Nicholas

Saturday, April 12, 2008

MIA Blogger!

Well I guess I have left my blog all alone. Since returning home from Cali it has been oh so chaotic! Gavie has decided to be heck on wheels! And he has not been sleeping well either. Which of course means Mommy is not sleeping well!

I have so many pictures to share and stuff to tell. But I just need to find the time! I am also starting to digi scrap so I will be sharing my layouts on here as well! I will leave my faithful blog followers with a couple of pics of the boys!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Sunny California ...

Well we are in Cali. It has been great since we have been here. The weather is perfect! Nice and sunny! The boys are having a wonderful time. Gavie has been a little sick though. I think it is a change in the food though. He is not quite used to authentic Mexican food. I have a ton of pics I will be posting. Along with cute stories of all the fun they are having!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Moving Day!

Tomorrow is moving day! I know it will be a loooooooooooooooong day! Hopefully everything goes well and we can get this over with!

Random pics of my little man.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Moving On Up ...

Well we have started packing. Hopefully this move will go smoothly. The only bad thing is it has started snowing bad here. There is already like 4 inches on the ground. Go figure when it is time to move the snow starts coming down. This is March right?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

As if we don't have enough stress!!!

OK I am not going to get into everything because it is way to long! But here is a brief with what is going on! Which may be long to ... sorry but I need to vent!

Well as you all know in Sept we had to move due to mold in the house where we were. Well my Mom contacted a family friend (or so we thought) and he let us rent one of his Condo's where we used to live until we could find a house to buy. (He has over 80 properties) Well it seems at the time he rented to us he KNEW this condo was going into foreclosure!

Little things have happened over the months and we questioned Pete about it ,but he ALWAYS reassured us that everything was fine and these were mistakes. Well we just found out last week through some detective work (thanks to public files) that this Condo was already in foreclosure and in fact was now owned by the bank and getting ready to go up for auction!!! All of this was finalized December 26th, 2007!

Now we have paid Jan. and Feb. rent to these people who supposedly had taken over for Pete. Even talking to Pete himself when going to pay rent! NEVER once was it mentioned that this place was not owned by him no more! Even when we were curious and asked ... we were told that they took over for Pete to help him collect rent from people and that all was fine.

We have NEVER been late on rent mind you. In fact we paid December's rent with October's! Well after we found out about what was going on we confronted them and they even said they were sorry and couldn't believe he had done this to people (we are not the only ones! There are at least 6 Condos in here plus alot of his other properties) Well we told them we wanted our rent money back seeing as this place was in foreclosure and no one is paying for it. We are not entitled to pay rent (Our lawyer advised us of everything).

Well we received a letter in the mail yesterday in which the company straight up lied and said they had NO IDEA this was going on and that they would be more then happy to move everyone involved in this matter into one of THEIR places!

We received a call today and I will not get into all the details but this man claimed to be from a collection agency (funny he sounds EXACTLY like one of the guys from the rental office!) He said if we do not pay rent today he was giving us a 72 hour eviction notice! (We were advised by our lawyer NOT to pay rent). Well what upset me the most is when I INFORMED him (which he already knew) that I had a son with Cancer he laughed yes you saw correctly laughed! and said Oh well I will be over in awhile with your eviction papers.

This hurt my feelings more then any darn place could. How could you laugh at a child who had to fight to live!? I watched my son almost die and he has the balls (sorry had to say it) to laugh about that!

We have another place to live and have known since yesterday and in fact we are moving next week so I am not scared of him but I am just hurt and angered he would act like that over a child who has been so sick. I am glad he wasn't here in front of me because I would be in jail right now for kicking his butt!

Sorry I just had to vent!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

18 Days and Counting!

In 18 more Days we will be on a plane heading to sunny Cali.

We cannot wait and the boys are ecstatic! Well Nic is .. Gavie still does not quite understand. But I know once there he will have a blast!

I have so much to do! I need to start making my lists so I do not forget anything!!!

Gavie's eyes

A couple months ago my Step-Dad noticed that Gavie's right eye kind of turned inward well at the time we didn't think much about it. Well last month at his 2 year check-up I went ahead and asked Dr Fox about it. She said she could tell it went slightly inward when he was focusing.
So she referred him to a Peds Eye Specialist. And his apt is next Wed. I am starting to get worried though because Thursday at therapy Lori his therapist asked me about it. She said it looked really bad and noticable as he was doing therapy.
I am hoping this is not another surgery in the making. The poor child has been through so much since birth! At 2 years old his body is breaking down! I will keep everyone informed after his apt and let y'all know what the doc said. The funny thing is his new doc is named Gavin! How ironic!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

My lil man is turning 2

On Feb 2nd Gavie turned the big 2. It was bittersweet for me because part of me still wants him to be my little baby! Here are some pics of the Birthday Boy!

So much going on ...

Wow I haven't blogged in forever it seems like. So much has been going on. Gavie has had a birthday and so have I. I am now the big 30. Seems like only yesterday I was 21. Where did the time go?

Well I figure I will break things down in smaller blogs instead of one big one where everything gets so confusing!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Gavie's 2 year pics ..

I took a mini photo shoot of Gavie today. I think these turned out great!

So sad ...

Toto had another seizure tonight. I am calling the Vet first thing in the morning to get him in. My heart is breaking right now. He is like one of my boys.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

What a scare!

Last night I had just got done changing Mister Gavie and went to take his diaper downstairs to the trash. Well Gavie has learned to open doors of course so the boys room has baby gates on both sides (the entry to the room and the bathroom entry from the room) to keep Gavie in so he doesn't play on the stairs. (His new favorite thing!) Well Toto was trying to go with me and I guess he tried jumping the gate while I was going down the stairs.

When I returned like 2 mins later Toto was balled up over by the gate to the entry of the room. I nudged him telling him to move so I could get over the gate even muttering to myself because he wasn't moving. After nearly tripping over him I look down and notice both of his front legs sticking straight out .. him shaking and the look of panic in his eyes!

I tried standing him up and he just fell over. He then began to violently shake like he was having a severe seizure! Poor Nicholas was bawling he was so upset and scared. I wrapped him in a towel and held him close for like 10 minutes to see if that helped and tried standing him up again. (If he fell again we were rushing him to the Vet! But instead he was fine his usual playful jumpy self!!!

We think what happened was he tried to jump the gate and somehow got hurt and it freeked him out and he went into some type of shock. I have monitored him and checked his legs and he seems fine today still playing and jumping around. o

It is true what they say about your pets. They are like your children!! Holding him last night shaking and scared was like holding one of my boys. Toto is truly a part of this family and hopefully a looooooooooooooooooong time member!

Sketti Bo Betti ...

Well last night we had spaghetti and let's just say Gavie enjoyed his way to much!!! He even had it in his eyebrows! His Pop asked him if his brows were hungry to which he smiled real big and said yes!! I was able to snap some pics of this lovely mess called Gavin Jon before I threw him in the tub.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

So excited to announce!

Just Mommies had a top 100 Mommy Blogs and I am excited to announce that my crazy SillyVille blog is among those 100!! Thank you to all who voted for my blog it is nice to know that I have some regular readers out there!

Back to Normal ...

Last week was so chaotic with all that was going on. I am happy that things are starting to get back to normal around here. Well as normal as they can be in our unique family. I did however make it through the week without pulling my hair out. It may have helped though because I am in need of a haircut badly! Who has time!! Now I have to plan for my baby turning the big 2 waaaaaaaaah!!! I also have to prepare myself for the big 30 sigh.

I am still trying to convince my Dad that he needs to get the treatment but, he is a stubborn old man!!! So we shall see. I would die if I lost him and I don't think he realizes that.Sigh.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Thought for the Day ...

Just a random thought about Chemotherapy.

Isn't it weird how something so toxic Nurses and Doctors wear protective gear when messing with it we let them put into our Children's bodies and Pray to God that it kills a demon much worse then it's own toxic self.

My poor child ..

This is what happens when your Mommy is obsessed with taking pics of you and your big brother!

We will always be friends.

I just love this pic so much! Gavie and his BFF! He loves that Bear more then anything. He has a replacement Bear but that one is put in the closet because he will not let go of this one.

911 Can I help you?

Today Gavin decided we were to boring to play with. So he took it upon himself to sneak the phone (his fave past time)and call 911! Dear Lord I was so embarrassed when the Greenwood Police Department called me back asking me if we were ok!

I explained to the officer that my Toddler had been playing with the phone and must of dialed the number. He laughed and said it happens all the time ... Glad to know everyone's ok. Wew thank goodness I didn't get a lecture from them on not letting kids play with the phone!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Words cannot describe how I feel.

I found out yesterday that my Father has Colon Cancer. This Cancer has been one of the number one killers in his family so right now I am devastated to say the least. At the same time I am also so mad and pissed at my Dad right now! He has apparently known for a month that he was sick and never even told me!

I try to keep track of all of his Doctor appointments and I ALWAYS ask him what happened and what they say. His famous saying is "They said I am going to live until I die" UGH this disturbs me so much! And the fact that he has known for a month and has yet to start treatment makes me so mad!

He has so much to live for yet it seems like he wants to give up. I will not allow this and I will push him forward and do what I have to do to make him want to fight and live. I still need him and my boys need him so he can not give up!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Will you still remember me?

The night before last Nicholas told me he missed his Grampa. I said well I can call Poppy and you can talk to him and we will see him Wed. night for dinner. He said No Mommy my Grampa in Heaven. (My Mom's Dad) Holding back the tears I said we all do hunny.

I then told him when he gets older one day he will go to Heaven and he will see him again. Nic then says but Mommy he wont remember me. I told him not to worry his Grampa would know who he was and why would he think that? I couldn't help but smile when in true Nicholas fashion he says to me I will be all grown up and look different how will he know who I am?!

I assured him that his Grampa will always remember who he was no matter how different he looked that Grampa's never forget.